A man asks if he was in the wrong for his actions after his new sister-in-law threatened to put the newlyweds “on blast” if they shared any wedding photos including her on social media.
An anonymous man is turning to the public court of opinion — the internet — to determine if he is in the wrong for cropping his sister-in-law out of his wedding photos.
The 28-year-old took to Reddit’s infamous AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum to see if he was in the wrong after his reaction to the way his SIL — who was a bridesmaid — treated his 27-year-old bride.
The OP (a.k.a. “the original poster”) explained the relationship the two sisters have, her negative opinion to the wedding photos and how he seemingly made matters even worse with his shady attempt to remedy the situation.
Read on to find out what happened.
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“My wife (27F) and I (28M) recently got married and it was amazing. The wedding was set on a riverside farm and so we had photoshoots outside on the fields before the ceremony,” OP began, before laying out some backstory that led him to his current situation.
“We started taking photos around noon and my sister-in-law (30F) was one of the bridesmaids,” he shared, explaining that his SIL and wife are very “different” and how he “assumed that SIL was included in her group of bridesmaids to appease my wife’s parents.”
“SIL has always been a negative person since I met her, always trying to make small judgemental (sic) comments, while my wife is an incredibly kind person,” OP said.
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“Because SIL and my wife have never been very close, she was at the end of the line of bridesmaids and usually was at the edges of group photos. While taking the photos, SIL was the only person complaining about things like the sunny weather and how her dress was ‘absorbing heat,'” OP continued, before adding that his wedding day it was “about 70°F”.
“Most people in the photoshoot group ignored her comments and it wasn’t an issue for the rest of the day.”
When the photos came back from the couple’s photographer, OP said they shared the photoshoot around with their bridal party and everyone involved in the photoshoot. They then said they were planning on using the photos on social media. While many people got back to them thanking the couple for the photos, the SIL did not have the same reaction.
“My SIL called my wife and was very angry, yelling that she ‘looked like a fat pig’ in every photo she was in and demanded that we not use any of the photos with her in them. For context, SIL is bigger than my wife but not to an extreme extent. She doesn’t look unhealthy and I’ve never heard her have body issues before but I admittedly wouldn’t know much about it. In the wedding photos, she really doesn’t look any different from her normal self,” OP explained.
Because SIL and my wife have never been very close, she was at the end of the line of bridesmaids and usually was at the edges of group photos.
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While his wife did attempt to reason with her sister saying she looked “pretty,” she apparently “did not want to hear it.”
“She reiterated that if we used any photo of her on social media that she would never speak to us again and would ‘put us on blast’ whatever that means. My wife was really hurt by her sister’s outburst and I was very bothered that she thought she could tell us what to do with our special moment,” OP said.
The two still wanted to share photos from their special day online, however, sparking some admittedly shady behavior from the groom.
“Here’s where I may be the a-hole: I decided that if she had such a problem, she didn’t need to be in the photos. I cropped her out and posted those versions to social media. I thought it would be fine and it was easy since she was at the edge anyway. After posting, she then called me even angrier than before and accused me of trying to ‘erase her from the memory of the wedding,'” he continued.
“I told her I only did it to accommodate her wishes while also getting to use our own wedding photos. SIL hasn’t talked to us in a week, my wife’s parents are mad at us for upsetting SIL. While my wife is on my side, she thinks I could have been more mature about it. I don’t think I did anything wrong and accommodated her already unreasonable request,” he concluded, before asking, “So, am I the a-hole?”
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While Reddit gave OP the official ‘Not the A-Hole’ badge, over 685 comments were left under his post with the top having over 12,000 upvotes.
“NTA. You did exactly as she asked! Was she expecting y’all to just not post any photos of YOUR wedding?,” the user wrote before OP wrote back: “I think she thought I would only post ones where she was not originally included, but I don’t like the principle that she thinks she can tell us what to post and what not to if it doesn’t include her.”
Another commenter said it is a “blessing” that SIL isn’t speaking to them.
“NTA. Her behavior here is probably exactly why your wife had her as a bridesmaid… she would have complained loudly to everyone about something she clearly didn’t want to do in the first place. Your wife needs to learn that it is not her responsibility to manage her sister’s negativity because it is never going to change, it will only drag her down with it. SIL isn’t speaking to y’all? Sounds like a blessing to me!”
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Another wondered what SIL thought the couple was going to do with the photos.
“NTA. WTF did SIL think you were going to do, burn the negatives? Have a do-over wedding when she feels better about herself? Photoshop her head onto Zendaya’s body?” they asked. “She wants to have it both ways, she wants to have the drama, she wants to be the star of your wife’s special day. Ignore her.”
One commenter focused on the OP’s wife’s comments toward the husband and added that they believe she should “put her foot down with her parents.”
“NTA. What on earth does your wife mean, you could have been more mature? In what way? You did exactly what SIL demanded. Just because her little plan to prevent you from posting many of your pictures backfired, that is NOT your fault. You weren’t rude or cruel, you posted pictures without her in them. She owes you an apology for trying to put any of the blame of this onto you,” the commenter wrote. “Your wife also needs to put her foot down with her parents. They are just as responsible for this mess by coddling SIL and telling your wife off for ‘upsetting’ her. I assume it’s a pattern that’s been repeated through her life. Well, no more. SIL owes you both an apology, and until she gives it, go LC with her. And the parents should be warned that they will also be in LC if they don’t shape up.”
What do you think?