Woman Bans Stepdaughter from Dinner Table for Specific Behavior, Sparking Backlash from Husband & Internet

Her story, shared to Reddit’s infamous AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum details the very distinct behavior that’s causing such a problem for the stepmom — though her husband seems to have no problem with it.

The whole story led to some pretty harsh accusations toward the OP (a.k.a. the “original poster”), her husband, and the whole situation.

Read on to see the full story and how Redditors reacted.

The woman kicked off her story by sharing that she has two stepdaughters, Scarlett, 18, and Ava, 16. She then went on to praise the elder sister, writing, “Scarlett is an amazing singer.” OP detailed private singing lessons, attendance at a performance arts school on full scholarship, paid gigs singing and her own YouTube channel.

“She’s even been the opening artist at a few concerts,” she wrote. “I’m not trying to brag, I’m just saying she’s an objectively good singer.”

Then, she shifted to the younger of the two girls. “Ava, on the other hand, is not a good singer. She likes to believe she is and she might become one if she actually stuck with voice lessons or choir classes but she always quits after 1-2 weeks because they’re ‘bullying her’ (giving constructive feedback, I’ve seen the notes her classmates and teachers have given her).”

She went on to say that Ava “likes to sing very loudly and/or at bad times,” including in the car and (apparently the biggest issue) at the dinner table if she feels the family is being too quiet.

“It doesn’t sound good and I honestly don’t know how she doesn’t hear it,” wrote OP. “If you ask her to stop she keeps going and if you’re blunt and say stop, that doesn’t sound good/we don’t want to hear it she keeps going and gets even louder just to annoy you.”

She then brought up the specific issues that brought her to the AITA forum in the first place. “A few weeks ago we were trying to eat and she was singing again,” she wrote. “I told her to stop and she refused so I took her plate and told her from now on she is no longer allowed to eat at my table. She can eat in her room, the backyard, her car, the garage, wherever she wants as long as we can’t hear her from the dining room and that this will continue until she can behave appropriately at the table.”

“My husband and I argued about it but he’s not home for dinner so there isn’t much he can do about it,” she added.

Then, according to OP, it happened again at lunch. “I told her to stop and she didn’t listen so I again took her plate and told her to eat somewhere where we can’t hear her if she doesn’t want to act appropriately.”

“Ava argued that she’s a better singer than Scarlett and that Scarlett sings all the time,” OP continued. “I was done with her bulls–t so I asked her how many times someone other than her dad has actually asked her to sing, not even paying her to be there, just ask her to sing or how many performing arts schools she’s gotten accepted to (she’s applied to many).”

In the end, “She started to cry and my husband wants me to apologize for being rude to her and is insisting I allow her to eat with the family again.” And so, OP is asking … AITA?

In the most upvoted comment (with more than 4k at the time of this writing), one Redditor said they were “ready to say NTA until the very end.” They explained, “So her sister gets to sing at the dinner table? Just not her?” OP clarified that Scarlett “does not sing at the dinner table. She does sing a lot but at more appropriate times.”

Despite OP saying she’s tried for a long time to curb this behavior at the dinner table, some still chastised her for how harshly she lashed out in her story, with one commenting, “There’s still a better way to put it than basically going haha you loser the only person who thinks you’re any good is your Dad and no school will take you because you’re s–t. Which is essentially what you did.”

“You actually didn’t need to go into what you think of her abilities at all and just address that it’s really annoying to have some loudly singing whilst you’re trying to eat,” they suggested. “Even if she was amazing that would be annoying.”

OP jumped in to explain that they’ve tried this, “dozens of times. It has never worked with her. At some point I feel like you just have to be blunt.”

Some commenters were a little more sympathetic to OP’s situation, though not necessarily how she handled it, with one writing that ESH (everyone sucks here). “It sounds like she is very envious of her sister and it’s causing her to act out. She’s being immature and annoying.”

They went on to qualify this by adding, “But it sounds like you all are very quick to remind her that she sucks at singing. It shouldn’t be about how good she is or isn’t. It should be about being disruptive and loud at the table, in the car, etc.” OP argued, “We’ve tried that. She doesn’t care that she’s being disruptive and loud.”

Some commenters did have OPs side fully, instead calling out the girls’ father for not having her back in trying to maintain some sort of structure and discipline at dinner. “YNTA, what else could you do? The child is blatantly disrespecting you when her father is not around,” commented one. “Does he expect you to leave the table and go to another room to eat your dinner when she does this? Does he expect you to tolerate her disrespect and disobedience?”

They also asked how the older sister feels about it, with OP replying, “Scarlett can’t stand it either. He expects us to tolerate it.” She also said in another comment that “Ava’s bio mom also can’t stand this behavior. It’s just her dad that thinks we should all deal with it.”

Still, some commenters believed OP is showing clear favoritism and dad is the only one “who cares about Ava.” “It’s obvious you don’t like her and favor Scarlett,” wrote one. “Ava’s behavior sounds like the product of her environment.”

Another agreed commenting, “It’s clear just from your post that you ring Scarlett’s praises and cannot stand Ava. If it’s that obvious in this post, I’m gonna guess your favoritism is seeping into ava’s reality as well. YTA and a bully. I’d be questioning my marriage if my partner treated my child like this.”

Another agreed with OP’s perceived “favoritism,” adding, “Ava is feeling overshadowed and overlooked. Everything is about Scarlett; how talented, accomplished and recognized she is. She’s even making money and doing opening gigs for concerts. Which I am sure OP brags about all the time,” wrote another.

“Not that it should be a competition (though it seems OP views it as such), but I’m sure Ava feels like she just can’t compete with Scarlett. Nothing she does is big enough. So she does things to get negative attention. Negative attention is better than NO attention.”

A fairly common consensus was family counseling for all, including dad. “Communication is a great thing. Ava being the younger sister with a very talented and exceptional older sister is going to be hard, envy and jealousy are gonna be there boiling under the surface,” wrote one Redditor.