If you were to find yourself in the British subway, aka the “Tube,” aka the ”Chube,” you might spot a poster for a comedy tour that looks a little strange. The poster in question is for a series of shows by British comedian Ed Gamble, pictured on the poster covered in ketchup and mustard feasting on a plate of… cucumber. Your immediate thought might be that this is some sort of absurdist headshot, something that abounds in comedy when a photographer pulls out a box of props like it’s a wedding photo booth. Strangely, this cucumber, which I’m surprised isn’t called something insane in Britain like an “emerald courgette” or a “green steamer,” is not a bit of absurdist comedy but an order laid down from on high.
The original poster, featuring a condiment-slathered hot dog, makes a whole lot more sense given that the tour is called “Hot Diggity Dog.” God, they really do steal our culture, don’t they? What’s next, a special called I’ve Been Shot Many Times, and It’s Going to Cost Me $1 Million in Medical Bills? Apparently, the frankfurter in question ran afoul of U.K. rules that forbid junk-food advertising in public transit stations. A remarkable stand on public health from a country whose official breakfast weighs roughly four pounds and includes both bacon and sausage.
Personally, I think if you want to improve national health, I would stop putting all your food in pies. But I suppose they have to make sure their schoolchildren don’t weigh too many “stone” and break their maths desks or whatever.
Gamble’s taken it well, which is unsurprising when you consider that news coverage isn’t the most stringent punishment for illegal advertising. I apologize, too, if this article seems overly combative, I’m just still mad they unloaded their comedic deadweight on us in the form of James Corden.